Review: Cut Me Free by J.R. Johansson

I am a big fan of Johansson ever since I first read the copy of Insomnia that I won.  When I saw her post about how we could contact her publisher about possible getting an early e-galley of this title, Cut Me Free, I immediately had to contact and see about getting a copy. Then wouldn't you know it, they made it available on Netgalley, and I think maybe on Edelweiss as well.  This is a very intense story.  A lot of emotion in it, and at times a bit tough to read.

The main character is 17 year old Piper. At least she thinks she's 17, and she thinks her name is Piper, or it was. She starts the story by asking for a new identity, which gives her the name Charlotte.  Charlotte is on the run from her abusive parents, that she called The Mother and The Father. And it is not just that she's running to escape being abused.  She doesn't have to worry about that anymore, because she killed them when she was leaving.  She finally couldn't take it anymore when her younger brother Sam died because of them.  So now she's in a city and looking to disappear.  Piper never went to school, but she tried her best to teach herself with books and things her grandmother had given her.  Her grandmother tried to help her, until again Piper's parents left her to die from her cancer.

Piper/Charlotte goes to someone she's heard is the best for help.  And he just happens to be a pretty attractive boy named Cam.  Charlotte isn't big on people touching her, she's just barely used to being out in the open with lots of other people around. And she's still very paranoid that maybe her father didn't die, and maybe he is after her.  Cam helps her out with a new identity, and he wants to help her even more.  But she doesn't want to let him.  While she is out getting her new apartment, she sees a little girl that she can tell is dealing with abuse like she was.  And in her head, the voice of Sam, tells her that she has to help the girl.  But in helping the girl, Sanda, while she may be doing something to help quell her feelings of not being there to save Sam, she also may be letting another bad person into her life.  She sets the apartment on fire after knocking the guy out, and while she assumes he dies in the fire, again like with her father, she doesn't know for sure.

And the reason she thinks someone is still out there?  She starts getting little notes, and someone tries to break into her apartment.  The notes and other things left in her apartment seem to be only something a person from her past could leave because they are things that very few people would know.  So Charlotte must learn to be her new self, take care of Sanda, and deal with Cam and his seemingly supportive personality that is intrigued by her.

This is a very intense read.  The beginning was kind of hard to read, as you got to hear about some of the things Charlotte/Piper went through.  How her life was, and then finding out what Sanda has gone through, and feeling so sorry for this little girl.  You want so bad for Cam to be able to help her out, but it is easily understandable to see why Charlotte acts the way she does.  Even though as I read I kept saying in my head, try to trust him, just try!  This is a very realistic fiction with a very important theme, one that unfortunately is probably more true than any of us outside this type of a situation may know.

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Review: Insomnia by J.R. Johansson

This was a book I'd been intrigued by for awhile, and then I was lucky enough to win a copy of it during the 2013 Debut Authors Bash from the Sleeps on Tables blog.  And it came personally autographed from the author along with some bookmarks, and a cool little "prescription" bottle of pills to help with the "insomnia".  The pills were my favorite candy, Skittles, so that was pretty cool.

The book started out with some really fascinating information about dreaming.  How there are different layers, and how much time you have to sleep to really dream, and about how you do need to have dream sleep in order for your mind to get the rest it needs.  I'm not saying it exactly right, but it was good.  The reason we learn about this is the main character, Parker, has this strange problem.  Whoever's eyes he looks into last for the day he will then see their dreams.  Instead of having his own dreams, he is in their dreams.  And it isn't just like he's dreaming with them, no, he's wide awake and watching their dream whether he wants to or not.  He's tried in the past to interact with them, especially when it first started when he was younger and he would be in his mom's dream and he would try to get her attention, but couldn't.  But it's getting really bad for Parker, he's exhausted.  He's even tried as a last resort to go look at someone who is working all night's eyes, so that he won't worry about them dreaming, and the best he gets from that is a void nothingness.  But it is still not real sleep.  His mom thinks he is on drugs and takes him to the doctor, who also at first thinks that could be the problem.  He even asks the doctor what happens to someone who doesn't get sleep or even dreams.  And his suspicions are confirmed.  He would soon develop hallucinations, psychosis, and then he would die.

But then there is a new girl at school, and somehow he ends up seeing her eyes last for the day.  And suddenly, here is a dream that is completely different than any he's been in before.  He knows it is different because of instead of the many layers usually there, it is just one layer.  And he is able to go and sit by a tree, and sleep.  And Parker knows he must find a way to see this girl, Mia's eyes last every day.  But this turns into a scary thing for her.  Because it seems like he's almost stalking her.  And unknown to Parker at first, Mia is getting threatening emails from someone, and so what his obsession seems like is that he is the one stalking her.  But after a week of her dreams, he is finally feeling rested.  And when he has to go without her dreams even one day, it's like all that rest he got was negated and he is right back where he was.  He finally breaks down and tells his friend Finn about it, trying to get help.  Finn ends up believing him, after hearing about some of his own dreams.

However with all the blackouts and loss of sleep Parker is having, he begins to wonder if he is the one causing the problems for Mia.  And the email address seems to be Parker's even though he doesn't remember ever sending them.  So now, he must figure out if he is innocent or if he is doing things in his sleep, and with the help of his best friend Finn, and his sister Addie, who Parker has a bit of a crush on, maybe he can do it, before he must make a dramatic decision about what to do.

A great book, I was unsure who would be the actual bad guy until the part where it is revealed, and then there is even another twist.  One that I kind of began to think about when we learned that Parker's father, who left when he was younger, also had the "headaches" and some of the issues Parker seemed to be having.