Lisa Loves Literature: Cleaning Up My TBR with a Giveaway: Down the TBR Hole #11

This meme was started by Lost in a Story. Here is how it works:

Go to your goodreads to-read shelf.
Order on ascending date added.
Take the first 5 (or 10 if you’re feeling adventurous) books
Read the synopses of the books
Decide: keep it or should it go?

Because I have so many to do, I'm going to try to do this weekly, and do 10 at a time.

1. Stay by Allie Larkin:

Savannah "Van" Leone has been in love with Peter Clarke ever since she literally fell head over heels in front of him on the first day of college. Now, six years later, instead of standing across from him at the altar, Van's standing behind her best friend Janie as maid of honor, trying to mask her heartache and guilt as Janie marries the only man Van's ever loved. Before, Van's mother died, she told Van never to let Peter go, but as the couple exchanges vows, Van wonders if her fairy tale ending will ever come true.

After the wedding, Van drowns her sorrows in Kool-Aid-vodka cocktails and reruns of Rin Tin Tin, and does what any heartbroken woman in her situation would do: She impulsively buys a German Shepherd over the Internet. The pocket-size puppy Van is expecting turns out to be a clumsy, hundred-pound beast who only responds to commands in Slovak, and Van is at the end of her rope... until she realizes that this quirky giant may be the only living being who will always be loyal to her, no matter what.

Van affectionately names her dog Joe, and together, they work to mend the pieces of Van's shattered heart. And it certainly doesn't hurt that Joe's vet is a rugged sweetheart with floppy blond hair and a winning smile. But when the newlyweds return from their honeymoon, Van is forced to decide just how much she's willing to sacrifice in order to have everything she ever wanted, proving that sometimes life needs to get more complicated before it can get better.

My thoughts:
This still sounds like a pretty cute book to me.

Verdict: Keep

2. 4 Books about Henry VIII:

16th Century court politics and intrigue through the eyes of six of the most important women of their time.

One of the most powerful monarchs in British history, Henry VIII ruled England in unprecedented splendour. In this remarkable composite biography, Alison Weir brings Henry’s six wives vividly to life, revealing each as a distinct and compelling personality in her own right. Drawing upon the rich fund of documentary material from the Tudor period, The Six Wives of Henry VIII shows us a court where personal needs frequently influenced public events and where a life of gorgeously ritualized pleasure was shot through with ambition, treason and violence.

My thoughts:
Even though this is always a fascinating topic, I'm pretty sure I won't be reading a nonfiction book like this in the near future. I think that these were added to my list either back when The Tudors was on HBO or else when the movie came out about him.

Verdict: Toss

This is the story of England's most famous, and notorious, king.

Henry was a charismatic, ardent - and brash - young lover who married six times; a scholar with a deep love of poetry and music; an energetic hunter who loved the outdoors; a monarch whose lack of a male heir haunted him incessantly; and a ruthless leader who would stop at nothing to achieve his desires. His monumental decision to split from Rome and the Catholic Church was one that would forever shape the religious and political landscape of Britain.

Combining magnificent storytelling with an extraordinary grasp of the pleasures and perils of power, Margaret George delivers a vivid portrait of Henry VIII and Tudor England and the powerhouse of players on its stage: Thomas Cromwell, Cardinal Wolsey, Thomas More and Anne Boleyn. It is also a narrative told from an original perspective: Margaret George writes from the King's point of view, injecting irreverent comments from Will Somers - Henry's jester and confidant.

My thoughts: This one sounds like it might be even more interesting, but again, not sure that I'll ever get around to reading something like this one

Verdict: Toss

“WEIR’S BOOK OUTSHINES ALL PREVIOUS STUDIES OF HENRY. Beautifully written, exhaustive in its research, it is a gem. . . . She succeeds masterfully in making Henry and his six wives . . . come alive for the reader.”–Philadelphia InquirerHenry VIII, renowned for his command of power and celebrated for his intellect, presided over one of the most magnificent–and dangerous–courts in Renaissance Europe. Never before has a detailed, personal biography of this charismatic monarch been set against the cultural, social, and political background of his glittering court. Now Alison Weir, author of the finest royal chronicles of our time, brings to vibrant life the turbulent, complex figure of the King. Packed with colorful description, meticulous in historical detail, rich in pageantry, intrigue, passion, and luxury, Weir brilliantly renders King Henry VIII, his court, and the fascinating men and women who vied for its pleasures and rewards. The result is an absolutely spellbinding read.

My thoughts: I know this author is supposed to be one of the best for this type of history book, but I'm going to have to go with my same thoughts as on the books before this one.

Verdict: Toss

The Letters of Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn, perhaps the most remarkable documents of the kind known to exist, were published at Oxford in 1720. They appear to have been written after Anne Boleyn had been sent away from court, in consequence of reports injurious to her reputation, which had begun to be publicly circulated. Her removal indeed was so abrupt that she had resolved never to return. The king soon repented his harshness, and strove to persuade her to come back; but it was a long time, and not without great
trouble, before he could induce her to comply.

Excerpt:

Consider well, my mistress, that absence from you grieves me sorely,
hoping that it is not your will that it should be so; but if I knew for certain
that you voluntarily desired it, I could do no other than mourn my ill-fortune,
and by degrees abate my great folly. And so, for lack of time, I make an
end of this rude letter, beseeching you to give credence to this bearer
in all that he will tell you from me.

Written by the hand of your entire Servant,
H. R.

My thoughts:
Same issues as above.

Verdict: Toss

3. Three books by Melissa Senate:

When did Abby Foote's life become an episode of Law & Order?

First, a former boyfriend (who dumped Abby in the most humiliating way imaginable) is found murdered the day his engagement is announced.

Then two other ex-boyfriends report attempts made on their lives right after breaking up with her. Coincidence? Detective Benjamin Orr, of the Portland Police Department (and Very Probing Questions and Incredibly Delicious Face), doesn't think so. Neither do Abby's friends, family, coworkers and other exes—who are suddenly shaking in their shoes. Soon everyone is sucking up to her as though the Abby they know and supposedly love to death is capable of poisoning their drinks….

Is someone trying to frame her?

Who? And why? She has to find out fast. Because by-the-book Ben is bound to break her heart.

Which makes him next on someone's list…

When twenty-something New Yorker Rebecca Strand learns (her father's deathbed confession) that she has a twenty-six-year-old half-sister she never knew existed, she can't wait to meet her. With her lawyer boyfriend's protests ringing in her ears ("She's just going to want her share of his million-dollar estate!"), Rebecca drives to a small coastal town in Maine with the 26 letters her father wrote to Joy every year on her birthday. All alone in the world, Rebecca knocks on Joy Jayhawk's door, having no idea what to expect.

Turns out Joy, the separated mother of a little boy (Rebecca has a nephew!), isn't very interested in the "father" who turned his back on her existence from day one–or her "sister." But Rebecca is so determined to establish family bonds with Joy that she doesn't go home... and finds herself being welcomed into small life by some very loveable, quirky characters, including a sexy carpenter named Theo...

A New York Times article lists fifteen questions couples should ask before marrying

Ruby Miller and her fiance, Tom Truby, have questions 1 to 14 almost covered. It's question 15 that has the Maine schoolteacher stumped: Is their relationship strong enough to withstand challenges?

Challenges like...Ruby's twin sister, Stella. The professional muse, flirt and face reader thinks Ruby is playing it safe. And that the future Mrs. Ruby Truby will die of boredom before her first anniversary or her thirtieth birthday, whichever comes first.

Challenges like…sexy maverick teacher Nick McDermott, Ruby's secret longtime crush, who confesses his feelings for her at her own engagement party.

But before Ruby can plan the wedding that may never be, Stella announces she's pregnant by a one-night stand whose name might be Jake (or James? Maybe Jason?) and who lives somewhere under the glittering lights of Las Vegas. Ruby and Stella hit the road to find him—with a lot more than fifteen questions.

And after three thousand miles, a stowaway relative and hitchhiking teen lovebirds bound for an Elvis wedding chapel, the Miller sisters might get some answers.

My thoughts: So, I've read one book by this author, and actually have two others on my physical TBR bookshelves. If I get around to reading those and really enjoying them so much that I want more by the author, then I'll do research into other titles. For now, not sure I need to keep these on a list.

Verdict: Toss all 3

4. What Men Want by Deborah Blumenthal:

Q: How does a thirty-five-year-old newspaper reporter with a vanilla-sounding name like Jenny George know so much about men?
A: She doesn't.

When her live-in boyfriend made a relationship trade-in (for the lingerie model starring in the ad campaign Jenny created) she realized she knew nothing about men. But Jenny is about to be clued in. Assigned to the Caribbean to write an exposé on a womanizing Hollywood movie tycoon, she's pitted against the tough-talking journalist and bane of her existence, Slaid Warren. Slaid takes issue with Jenny's quest to be the best and sets out to show her 1) There's more to life than just work; 2) They're stronger when they work as a team and not at cross-purposes and 3) He really does live up to all his hype. Armed with these new insights—and a killer tan—Jenny suddenly couldn't care less about what men want. Instead, she's launching her own plan that's guaranteed to give her exactly what she needs….

My thoughts:
I've read another one by this author, that I really enjoyed. And this one sounds good as well.

Verdict: Keep

5. Love Lies by Adele Parks:

Fern is staring thirty in the face and can't ignore the love lies any longer. Life with Adam was amazing once - although these days swinging from the chandeliers means D.I.Y. not S.E.X. She believes a romantic wedding should be the next step but Adam just won't go down on one knee.

Then a chance meeting with Scottie Taylor - the UK's sexiest pop star - lights fireworks in Fern that won't stop exploding. It's mind-expanding love at first sight for them both so when he proposes in front of a sell-out crowd at Wembley Stadium, there's only one answer. Yes, yes, yes!

Before you know it, Fern is living the celebrity dream in LA and a wedding planner is arranging designer shoe fittings. But isn't it all happening a little too fast? Why is this modern-day Cinderella homesick for a rented two-bedroom flat in Clapham?

How do you know whether love is telling the truth? Fern must choose which version of this fairy tale is hers ...

My thoughts: I've read one other book by this author, but honestly I only gave it three stars. So I'm guessing I'll probably not get around to this one.

Verdict: Toss

6. Twilight and History by Nancy R. Reagin:

The first look at the history behind Stephenie Meyer's bestselling Twilight series, timed to release with the third movie, EclipseThe characters of the Twilight Saga carry a rich history that shapes their identities and actions over the course of the series. Edward, for instance, may look like a seventeen-year-old teen heartthrob, but was actually born in 1901 and died during the Spanish Influenza of 1918. His adopted sister, Alice, was imprisoned in an insane asylum in 1920 and treated so badly there that even becoming a vampire was a welcome escape. This book is the first to explore the history behind the Twilight Saga's characters and their stories. You’ll learn about what life might have been like for Jasper Whitlock Hale, the Confederate vampire who fought during the Civil War, Carlisle Cullen, the Puritan witch hunter-turned-vampire who participated in the witchcraft persecutions in Early Modern England, and the history of the Quileute culture that shaped Jacob and his people —and much more.

Gives you the historical backdrop for Twilight Saga characters and events
Adds a whole new dimension to the Twilight novels and movies
Offers fresh insights on vampires, romance, and history

Twilight and History is an essential companion for every Twilight fan, whether you've just gotten into the series or have followed it since the beginning.

My thoughts: Well, I am a pretty big Twilight fan, no matter what the haters say. And this sounds like a fun look at the "history" surrounding the characters. I think I might want to read this some day.

Verdict: Keep

7. Kraken by China Mieville:

With this outrageous new novel, China Miéville has written one of the strangest, funniest, and flat-out scariest books you will read this—or any other—year. The London that comes to life in Kraken is a weird metropolis awash in secret currents of myth and magic, where criminals, police, cultists, and wizards are locked in a war to bring about—or prevent—the End of All Things.

In the Darwin Centre at London’s Natural History Museum, Billy Harrow, a cephalopod specialist, is conducting a tour whose climax is meant to be the Centre’s prize specimen of a rare Architeuthis dux—better known as the Giant Squid. But Billy’s tour takes an unexpected turn when the squid suddenly and impossibly vanishes into thin air.

As Billy soon discovers, this is the precipitating act in a struggle to the death between mysterious but powerful forces in a London whose existence he has been blissfully ignorant of until now, a city whose denizens—human and otherwise—are adept in magic and murder.

There is the Congregation of God Kraken, a sect of squid worshippers whose roots go back to the dawn of humanity—and beyond. There is the criminal mastermind known as the Tattoo, a merciless maniac inked onto the flesh of a hapless victim. There is the FSRC—the Fundamentalist and Sect-Related Crime Unit—a branch of London’s finest that fights sorcery with sorcery. There is Wati, a spirit from ancient Egypt who leads a ragtag union of magical familiars. There are the Londonmancers, who read the future in the city’s entrails. There is Grisamentum, London’s greatest wizard, whose shadow lingers long after his death. And then there is Goss and Subby, an ageless old man and a cretinous boy who, together, constitute a terrifying—yet darkly charismatic—demonic duo.

All of them—and others—are in pursuit of Billy, who inadvertently holds the key to the missing squid, an embryonic god whose powers, properly harnessed, can destroy all that is, was, and ever shall be.

My thoughts: Hmm, while it looks and starts out sounding like maybe it is about a giant squid, I don't know if it really is? So not sure on this one.

Verdict: Toss

8. Sweet Misfortune by Kevin Alan Milne:

Sophie owns a chocolate shop where she sells Misfortune Cookies-dipped in bitter chocolate they contain messages she handwrites each day such as "Your car seems fine now, but just wait...it will eventually be a source of frustration and unexpected delay." What starts as a gimmick, turns into a surprise hit with customers. But when her ex-fiancée moves back to their small Washington town, he is surprised at how bitter and unhappy Sophie has become. He proposes a bet--she must place an ad in the paper that simply states "Wanted: Happiness." If at least 100 people respond, proving happiness isn't a myth, she agrees to a date with him. If not, he'll leave her alone forever. Sophie is convinced she'll win, but fate has other ideas when a reporter at the paper is intrigued by the ad as a story and posts it in newspapers across the country.

My thoughts: This is one I don't remember, but it sounds like it could be a fun one!

Verdict: Keep

9. The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring by Lawrence Dorfman:

It’s impossible to go a full day without using snark, so why fight it? Snark is everywhere, from television to movies to everyday life. This lively collection provides hours of entertainment—better than an Etch A Sketch, and more fun than Silly Putty! At the heart of it, being in a state of snark can be one of the most useful tools at one’s disposal and hence (yes, I used “hence”), a powerful way to get what you want. With snark, you can catch people completely off-guard, and royally piss them off.

Included here is the Snark Hall of Fame, the Best Snarky Responses to Everyday Dumbassness, and much more. It’s a book that will make you laugh. It’s a book that will make someone else cry. It’s a book every student of the American psyche (that’s all of us, Sparky) needs to have. Let loose. Let your inner anger become a positive rather than a negative, but most of all, have fun. (Yeah, like that’s something you know how to do.)

My thoughts:
As much fun as this sounds, not sure it is something I'll ever have the time for, or make the time to read.

Verdict: Toss

10. You'll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again by Heather McDonald:

"Can’t a girl dress like a hooker, dance like a stripper, and kiss like a porn star and still be a nineteen-year-old virgin?"

You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again is the laugh-out-loud story of an attractive Los Angeles woman who found herself in the predicament of being an unwilling virgin. As an actress, writer, and stand-up comedienne, Heather McDonald passed up ample opportunities to have her V-card revoked by handsome, rich, and sometimes even fabulously famous men, but she could not bring herself to do "it" until well after her friends had been deflowered.

As Chelsea Handler so lovingly puts it, "Thank God, Heather waited twenty-seven years to lose her virginity or she wouldn't have any material for this book." Whether in a backseat, a community pool, or a sports stadium, with a frat boy, a doctor, or an A-list celebrity, Heather McDonald knew how to turn those boys blue. Unlike "putting out," blue balling might not have paid her rent or landed her free trips to Hawaii, but it did provide her with hilarious stories and adventures in her search for true love—and, ultimately, her very own happy ending. Now, Heather McDonald will never blue ball in this town again.

My thoughts: I remember seeing this one on the shelf at work. Sounds like a funny book.

Verdict: Keep

Final Thoughts:
So, I'm tossing more than I'm keeping, so that is good! Do you see any of the books up there that I'm tossing that you've read and think I should keep? In two weeks I'll be on spring break from school, and I'm hoping to get some cleaning up from my physical book stacks done! I may be able to show a picture of that with this weekly post in a couple weeks. No one signed up last week, but I'm going to make it possible again this week in case you want to sign up and share your post with me, because I'd love to see it, and I'll also add an entry in the giveaway below if you do link up a post like this.

Giveaway:
Once again this is a US only giveaway, unless you are International and see a book here you really want and would be willing to pay for the difference in the shipping through Paypal or some other way. Just as with the past weeks, you get to pick any book from the pictures below, as long as they don't get traded away, or picked by last week's winner, and I will pick a surprise book from the piles to add to your choice. Here are your choices: