Breath (Riders of the Apocalypse #4) by Jackie Morse Kessler

I had to buy this last month when it came out just so that I could get it autographed by the author the first weekend of May at the RT Convention.  I could have bought it at the convention, but by purchasing it from the bookstore where I work, I got it at 30% off, whereas at the convention it would have been full price, and I'm a bit broke at the moment.  Although, if there was any book that was worth buying at the full price, which isn't bad, only $8.99, it is this whole series.  The reason for that is because a portion of the proceeds go to charity, To Write Love on Her Arms.
I would say this is a pretty fitting conclusion to the series.  Although truly, I would love to have some more books written, about the earlier riders, before the ones we've learned about from this series.  Not to spoil it, but in each of the prior books, the teen that was the main character ended up becoming the rider that fit what their issues were.  Famine for the eating disorder, War for the girl who had a lot of rage and took it out on herself by cutting, and Pestilence was the boy that was bullied and was taking care of his grandfather with Alzheimer's.  In this book we get to learn about Death, the rider who has pretty much been the same throughout the series.  Although we know that his form will change throughout history, kind of based on someone from that time period.  We learn how Death "became" Death.  And in this book, Death is tired, and feeling like he's ready to be done, suicidal if you will.  We learn about Death through another teenager, this time his name is Xander.  I won't give away any spoilers, but it wasn't a easily guessed story.  What happens, and how Xander fits in with Death and the rest of the Riders is a new twist and a welcome one.
Really a very enjoyable book.  While I was a little lost for awhile about why Xander kept having memory losses, and why Death might feel the way he did, it all wrapped up so neatly!  And with a really unique new take on the story of the Riders, etc.  I highly recommend you read the whole series.  While the first 3 really got to the heart of teen issues, this one was just a great look at the whole story of the Riders and Death.  And like I said, the price of the books is so reasonable, $8.99, and the fact that proceeds from that go to charity, is just incredible.
Great, great, great story!  And I'll have to include my picture with the author from the RT Convention!

Waiting on Wednesday: Breath (Riders of the Apocalypse #4) by Jackie Morse Kessler

Waiting on Wednesday is a weekly event hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine where we spotlight upcoming releases that we're eagerly awaiting. My choice this week relates to the last couple of books I read and reviewed.  I'm so excited that I chose to read those 2 right before the 4th and final book of the series is going to be published.  Just 2 more weeks till I can read it!  As I mentioned in one of the reviews, the author, Jackie Morse Kessler, is going to be in my town, Kansas City, at the beginning of May as part of the Romantic Times Convention.  And I've already signed up to go on Friday and to all the Teen Day stuff on Saturday.  So I hope to get her to sign 2 of my books.  They say you are only allowed to bring 2 things.  But now I'll have 4 since the whole series is out.  :-(  Oh well.  Anyways, here is the synopsis of the final book in the series from Goodreads.com: 

Contrary to popular belief, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse aren’t just harbingers of doom—they actually keep life in balance. But what happens when their leader and creator, Death, becomes suicidal?

Before the first living thing drew its first gasping breath, he was there. He has watched humanity for millennia. And he has finally decided that humanity is not worth the price he has paid time and again. When Death himself gives up on life, a teenager named Xander Atwood is the world’s only hope. But Xander bears a secret, one that may bring about the end of everything.

This heart-pounding final installment of the Riders of the Apocalypse series looks at the value of life, the strength of love, and how a small voice can change everything . . . forever.

So what do you think?  Sounds pretty interesting doesn't it?  I think so, and can't wait to read it!  What books are you excited about reading this week?

Loss (Riders of the Apocalypse #3) by Jackie Morse Kessler

I started out thinking I'd like this book a little more than #2, Rage.  Loss is about Pestilence, the bringer of disease. The main character is a 15 year old boy named Billy.  At first I figured it would relate to his grandfather who had Alzheimer's.  But then we learn that Billy has been bullied his whole life.  In fact he has just given in, and just hopes when they do whatever they're going to do with him, that it will end quick and without visible bruising that he would have to explain to his mother.  His best friend is a girl named Marianne, that he is beginning to like more than a friend.  But he doesn't want to lose his friendship with her, so he keeps it to himself.  Billy has a nightmare of someone he calls the Ice Cream Man from when he was like 4 years old.  The man offered him a ride on his horse, if he would do something.  Because Billy agreed, turns out he was tricked into taking over the job of Pestilence.  But Pestilence isn't actually dead.  He's gone off and disappeared.  To the point that he's not able to be found.  He's lost in his memories.  Death comes to Billy and gives him a choice.  He can either take over the job or he can help Death get Pestilence back to work.  So Billy ends up being sent into the White King's dreams and memories to try to find him.  But not before Billy gets the chance to wield the Bow on some of  his bullies, causing them to get sick and run off.  Once in the head of Pestilence, Billy begins to get lost.  Some memories play over and over.  And Billy has to try to figure out how to find him.  When he does, and pulls him back out into the world, Pestilence has decided he's seen the end of the world, and there is no use fighting it.  So now Billy must help take care of this problem, even if it means killing him.  Which could in turn end up in Billy's death as well.

Not that the story wasn't good, it was.  But it just seemed so all over the place.  While that makes sense since this Pestilence has been around for a long, long time.  Sometimes it just got to be too complicated.  It was interesting to hear about past Riders, before the ones we now know.  It also was neat to hear about how Death looked at those times, and to find out what Pestilence thought of Death and the apocalypse.  Throughout the last two books, Death has been sure to assure the new Riders that they aren't necessarily there to bring about the apocalypse, but to keep balance in the world in order to maybe prevent it?  It's an interesting take on this idea.  Now, I can't wait for the 4th and final book to come out, Breath.  In fact, that'll be my WOW post tomorrow!  And once again the author is donating part of the proceeds from people who purchase the book to a charity, in this case it is to the Alzheimer's Association.  And it is a good deal on these books.  This one cost $8.99, and knowing that part of the cost goes to such worthy charities makes it so easy to go buy these books.

Rage (Riders of the Apocalypse #2) by Jackie Morse Kessler

These are kind of short books, just about 200 pages, and so I decided to fit them in before some books that I had deadlines for.  Plus, I'm planning to go to the Romantic Times Convention the first weekend in May since it will be here in my hometown this year.  And the author will be here, so that is really exciting!  I've been a fan of this author since I read the first book in this series, Hunger.  I think that book was really easy for me to connect to, as I'm sure for many other females because it is about a girl with an eating disorder.  Food/exercising/weight, are all things I've dealt with in my life.  And so it was kind of a familiar struggle to read about.
This second book, Rage, might not be quite so easy to relate to for people.  The main character is Missy.  And she is a cutter.  She cuts because it helps numb or dull the pain.  She felt as the blood ran out of her that it also let out all the hurt and anger she had inside.  But then her boyfriend, Adam, had seen her marks, and he'd called her a freak, and broken up with her.  Which only made her cut more.  But he didn't just break up with her, he told his friends about it, and now at school she had to deal with the boys that called her names and teased her.  But she had what she called her dead face, that she dealt with those people at school.  To ignore them and not let them see her pain.  The story begins on the day she kills her cat.  She doesn't really kill her cat, that freaked me a bit at first.  I was afraid she was violent to animals since the title of the book was rage.  But she had put her cat to sleep, and she felt guilty for it.  That is something I understand because I've had to put two dogs to sleep.  I felt so guilty for the first one, and the second one.  It's such a hard choice to make.  Because could the vet have helped them if you'd spent more time and money?  Or would they have continued suffering?  So the guilt from that also led to Missy cutting more to release the pain.  Well, the day she lost her cat, Death showed up at her door.  It seems as if she had been really close to killing herself with her cutting that day from the description.  He showed up and gave her a big white box.  She didn't want it, was scared, so slammed the door in Death's face and shoved the big box, onto her closet shelf, which for some reason it was now small enough to fit on.
Death is patient, he knows that soon she will decide to take up the sword and become one of the four Riders, she will become War.  And she does, after she decides to go to a party.  She decides to go after her ex tells her he misses her, both in person at school, as well as through texting.  She also has a bad relationship with her younger sister, who is popular, and is not happy having an emo older sister at school.  All these things spur Missy to go to the party.  Where Adam finds her, and kisses her, and brings back all her old feelings for him.  But he's not really back for her, he's back to humiliate her, which he does.  And now she is ready.  She takes the sword and goes back to the party.  Only they can't see her as a rider, but she does what War does, as she walks by she spreads feelings of anger, rage, and war.  Only afterwards Missy is not pleased about it.  She feels horrible for what she's caused.  And it is this war between herself and what she believes to be "War" that she must fight and decide how will she take up the reins.  Famine, from the first book shows up several times.  Both to prod her into taking the job, as well as to kind of help her become a Rider that will help balance the four.  But Famine is cautious, as the one before her was killed by War, and she was almost killed herself before she had to kill the War before Missy.
And there is a bit of a romantic feeling between Death and Missy, as it would make sense that Death and War would go together.
We also get to meet Pestilence in this book, and he is sick, as you might figure he would be.  But the meeting with him I believe is a good bridge to the next book in the series, as the death of War in the first book brought us to this book.
Such a great series.  The issues tackled that lead to the Riders of the Apocalypse are so real and so pertinent to many teens these days.  As a teacher, I have known kids who cut.  I have heard girls that were as skinny as can be talk about needing to diet and lose weight.  All of these things make me sad.  The food things have always been understandable to me.  And with some depression issues I've had, I've recently begun to understand about the cutting as well.  Not something I'd ever do, I hate pain, pass out when I get shots or give blood, but I can understand the need to not feel pain, and how that could be a way to take your mind off emotional pain.  And I love how at the end of the book the author states that a portion of the proceeds from this book will be donated to To Write Love On Her Arms, a nonprofit organization dedicated to helping people struggling with this issue of self-injury, as well as other similar issues.  If you want more info about  this organization, you can go to their website:  TWLOHA.

Hunger by Jackie Morse Kessler

Hunger by Jackie Morse Kessler

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I actually really liked this book. I think the subject of anorexia is one that is very overlooked sometimes. I liked the irony in a girl who was anorexic being in charge of famine. I liked that the other riders, Death, War, and Pestilence, were portrayed in a somewhat different way than you normally see. I like the choice that Famine was given. This book did speak to me personally, not that I'm anorexic, but that I struggle with weight, and I understand the feeling of looking in the mirror, and what you see is not what others see. There are times I leave my home and I thought what I put on looked good in my mirror. Then I get to school and walk by a window and see my reflection and hate how fat I look. Or I'm somewhere like a party, in an outfit I planned and thought made me look really good, then I see a picture later and think wow, how fat I really am, and why don't I see that in the mirror when I look. And then other people will say how good I look, and I don't think I look like that. For a long time, when I was younger, I never understood how anorexics could look in a mirror and feel fat, when all I saw was barely any person there. But now that I can't trust my own eyes when I look in a mirror, I get it. And I think this book showcases that very well. I like that at the end it isn't just easy for her to begin eating and be normal. She thinks she can, but soon that "thin voice" is back in her head telling her how many calories, or minutes exercising each food will cost her. And making her feel guilty for even thinking of eating one french fry.

I look forward to reading the next one in the series, Rage. This was a quick read, as it is a short book, and I think there could probably have been more detail to flesh the story out and make it last a bit longer if there was anything that wasn't perfect about the book, that's it.



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Gateway 21: If I Stay by Gayle Forman

First I have to say as I was titling this blog post that I think I've messed up my numbering on these Gateway posts. But finally, a female protagonist!

This was a pretty interesting book. The main character is 17 year old Mia. She is a musician with a promising future and a rock band boyfriend, as well as a wonderful family and an awesome best friend. At the beginning of the book they have a snow day and since school is cancelled the family decides to take a drive. On the drive they have a wreck. Mia comes to standing outside the car. She sees her father and mother are both dead. She soon learns her younger brother has been taken to a close hospital where she has been taken farther away because of the condition she is in. The whole story is told from Mia's viewpoint as she watches over her body and what is going on around it. It's really a very short time period, but we get lots of flashbacks to learn about her and her life.

The title refers to something a nurse says that first day, that it is not up to the doctors whether Mia makes it, but up to her. She must decide to stay or go. We get to hear her friend, family, and boyfriend all plead for her to stay. The part that made me choke up was when her grandfather tells her that as much as he wants her to stay, he understands if she wants to go having lost her family. The author puts it much better, but I totally almost cried at this point.

I've seen this book at the bookstore where I work. Without actually reading the book's information, I just assumed it might be about suicide. But it's not really, just Mia deciding whether it is worth coming back to life after such a loss. In the end, it's almost as if she doesn't get to make the choice, that it's made for her. But I won't spoil it for you. Read it.

I've also attached both the cover pictures, the blue one is for the hard cover, and the girl's face is the paperback. I actually like the paperback cover better.