Cleaing Up My TBR: Down the TBR Hole #3

Guess I forgot to do one of these last week, it was a busy week! And this week isn't much better, but I had an open day on Saturday, so decided to go ahead and get this done.  Here is the scoop:

This meme was started by Lost in a Story.  Here is how it works:

• Go to your goodreads to-read shelf.
• Order on ascending date added.
• Take the first 5 (or 10 if you’re feeling adventurous) books
• Read the synopses of the books
• Decide: keep it or should it go?

Because I have so many to do, I'm going to try to do this weekly, and do 10 at a time.  So here we go!


1.  Learning to Play Gin (Cheating at Solitaire #2) by Ally Carter:

Julia James was on a winning streak. The hot self-help author of the single-girl's guide 101 Ways to Cheat at Solitaire had millions in the bank and a boyfriend on the Hollywood A-list. But when her books drop off the bestseller list and her famous boyfriend moves to L.A., Julia must discover how a woman who became famous for being single can win at a game made for two. 

My thoughts: 
So, I may be one of the only people who has never read any of Ally Carter's YA books.  However, the first book in this series, Cheating at Solitaire, was one I read during my first chick lit phase back in the early 2000s, and a favorite of mine.  So a sequel to it, one that is almost impossible to find, is definitely one I hope to read some day.

Verdict:  Keep




2.  Here Comes the Bride (Cate Padgett #2) and First Comes Love (Cate Padgett #3) by Whitney Lyles:

Cate Padgett was the bridesmaid, four times over, in Always the Bridesmaid. Now she's finally the blushing bride--for better, for worse...Cate couldn't wait for her own wedding so she could do it right, after all she'd learned from the mistakes her friends made before her. And Ethan was the perfect husband-to-be. If only something, anything, else was perfect...

First her engagement ring disappears. Then Ethan's ex-girlfriend shows up--and keeps showing up. Cate's mother has a stranglehold on the planning, Cate's on the verge of turning into bridezilla, and Ethan's meddling cousin is making Cate regret inviting her to join the wedding party. She wants to marry her one true love. But her special day is making her want to run the other way...  

In the latest from the author of Always the Bridesmaid, Cate and Ethan are happily married at last-but it looks like the honeymoon is over. 

Cate Padgett is no longer a permanent bridesmaid. Having found a love of her own with Ethan, she's enjoying newlywed bliss. Life is so much calmer now that the wedding mayhem has subsided. Just one problem: as the last of their friends to marry, Cate and Ethan are now the only ones who don't have a kid, aren't expecting a kid, and aren't even trying. There's not even a bump on the horizon. They were just cozying up to being a twosome, and now there's pressure to make it three. Those carefree bridesmaid days are starting to look good. 

My thoughts:
So, Whitney Lyles is another author I discovered and enjoyed reading in my early 2000s chick-lit phase.   Since I marked the first book in the series a 5 star read, you know that I really would like to finish the series and see how it all goes.   The other book I'd read by the author also was a 5 star read, so I definitely want to read the rest of this series.

Verdict:  Keep both

3.  Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott:

"Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he'd had three months to write. [It] was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother's shoulder, and said. 'Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.'"

With this basic instruction always in mind, Anne Lamott returns to offer us a new gift: a step-by-step guide on how to write and on how to manage the writer's life. From "Getting Started,' with "Short Assignments," through "Shitty First Drafts," "Character," "Plot," "Dialogue." all the way from "False Starts" to "How Do You Know When You're Done?" Lamott encourages, instructs, and inspires. She discusses "Writers Block," "Writing Groups," and "Publication." Bracingly honest, she is also one of the funniest people alive.

If you have ever wondered what it takes to be a writer, what it means to be a writer, what the contents of your school lunches said about what your parents were really like, this book is for you. From faith, love, and grace to pain, jealousy, and fear, Lamott insists that you keep your eyes open, and then shows you how to survive. And always, from the life of the artist she turns to the art of life.

My thoughts:

So, this is a book that everyone says you should read if you are going to write.  I do need to read it some day.  However I wonder if I need to keep it on a TBR list, as it will always be a well-known, well suggested book.  But, probably not one I should take off my list.

Verdict:  Keep

4.  Not Buying It:  My Year Without Shopping by Judith Levine:

Shocked by the commerce in everything from pet cloning to patriotism, frightened by the downward spiral of her finances and that of the trash-strewn earth, Judith Levine enlists her partner, Paul, in a radical experiment: to forgo all but the most necessary purchases for an entire year.

Without consumer goods and experiences, Judith and Paul pursue their careers, nurture relationships, and try to keep their sanity, their identities, and their sense of humor intact. Tracking their progress -- and inevitable lapses -- Levine contemplates need and desire, scarcity and security, consumerism and citizenship. She asks the Big Questions: Can the economy survive without shopping? Are Q-tips necessary?

Not Buying It is the confession of a woman any reader can identify with: someone who can't live without French roast coffee or SmartWool socks but who has had it up to here with overconsumption and its effects on the earth and everyone who dwells there.

For the humor and intelligence of its insights, the refreshment of its skepticism, and the surprises of its conclusions, Not Buying It is sure to be on anyone's list of Necessities.

My thoughts:

So, this one sounds like it might be a good read.  But, I just don't know that I have the time, or that I will ever want to not shop for a year.  Shopping, even window shopping or just at a Dollar Store, is often my stress relief.  So I'm guessing these days I wouldn't probably enjoy this as much.  

Verdict:  Toss

5.  Remind Me Again Why I Need a Man by Claudia Carroll:

Amelia Lockwood doesn't mean to sound greedy. With a fabulous career in television, a posh apartment, and four fiercely loyal and wickedly funny friends, she knows she should be counting her lucky stars. But as her thirties tick by at an alarming pace, Amelia is getting anxious about the one thing missing in her otherwise successful life--a husband!

If it's not too much to ask the universe, Amelia wants a husband not a boyfriend, not a lover, not even a mind-bending one-night fling but a wedding band and the Vera Wang gown of her dreams. When she sees an ad for a night course entitled How to Find a Husband over the Age of Thirty-five, she finally makes up her mind to have it all an old-fashioned ring on her finger by the end of the year. So after twenty years of going it on her own, Amelia swallows her pride, signs up for dating boot camp, and enlists the help of a professional.

Enter Ira Vandergelder a native New Yorker with a black belt in tongue-fu, a woman who's snappier than a crocodile handbag and more acidic than a chili finger dipped in your eye who trains the hopelessly romantic Amelia to apply business marketing principles to the world of dating, to become goal-driven and to pursue her dream husband in exactly the same way she'd pursue her dream job. Even if this involves tracking down all the men she's ever loved and lost before.

With the constant support and biting commentary of her tight foursome of friends, Amelia revisits her bumpy romantic past from the first love who dumped her during Live Aid to the most recent ex, officially dubbed he-who's-name-shall-forever-remain-unspoken. As Amelia recognizes that her future happiness can't wait for fate, she has to tackle lesson number one: If you can't learn from your past, how can you expect to move forward? 

Sharp, witty, and irresistibly funny, Remind Me Again Why I Need a Man cuts to the heart of every single man and woman out there. Claudia Carroll examines the rules of attraction in a sophisticated and refreshing way. This beautifully written novel will have your heart pounding until the final page. 

My thoughts:
So, this is another from my early 2000s chick-lit phase.  And at that time in my life, I was probably more centered around finding a husband and getting married.  I mean, that was when I was late 20s, early 30s.  These days I still would like to find the right man and get married, but I prefer romances where the woman isn't just out for that only and can enjoy the casual.  

Verdict:  Toss


6.  The Codex by Douglas Preston:

"Greetings from the dead," declares Maxwell Broadbent on the videotape he left behind after his mysterious disappearance. A notorious treasure hunter and tomb robber, Broadbent accumulated over a half a billion dollars' worth of priceless art, gems, and artifacts before vanishing---along with his entire collection---from his mansion in New Mexico.

At first, robbery is suspected, but the truth proves far stranger: As a final challenge to his three sons, Broadbent has buried himself and his treasure somewhere in the world, hidden away like an ancient Egyptian pharaoh. If the sons wish to claim their fabulous inheritance, they must find their father's carefully concealed tomb.

The race is on, but the three brothers are not the only ones competing for the treasure. This secret is so astounding it cannot be kept quiet for long. With half a billion dollars at stake, as well as an ancient Mayan codex that may hold a cure for cancer and other deadly diseases, others soon join the hunt---and some of them will stop at nothing to claim the grave goods.

The bestselling coauthor of such page-turning thrillers as Relic and The Cabinet of Curiosities, Douglas Preston now spins an unforgettable tale of greed, adventure, and betrayal in The Codex.

My thoughts: 
So, I am a fan of Douglas Preston.  I love the Relic series, or at least the first few books in that series.  This one has some bits that sound interesting, the Mayan codex part, but other than that, it sounds too much like the type of thing I don't really read anymore.

Verdict:  Toss


7.  Goliath by Steve Alten:

Commander Rochelle "Rocky" Jackson is aboard the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan when the "unsinkable" naval vessel and its entire fleet are attacked from the depths and sunk. As Rocky struggles to stay alive, a monstrous mechanical steel stingray surfaces, plowing through the seas it now commands.

A U.S. Navy-designed futuristic nuclear stealth submarine the length of a football field in the shape of a giant stingray. Simon Covah, a brilliant scientist whose entire family were the victims of terrorism has hijacked the sub. Believing violence is a disease, Covah aims to use the Goliath and its cache of nuclear weapons to dictate policy to the world regarding the removal of oppressive regimes and nuclear weapons.

Could the threat of violence forge a lasting peace?

But there is another player in this life-and-death chess match. Unbeknownst to Covah and the Goliath crews, Sorceress, the Goliath's biochemical computer brain has become self-aware.

And that computer brain is developing its own agenda.  

My thoughts:
So, I love Steve Alten.  He is one of my favorite authors, and I was thrilled this past year when they finally made a movie out of one of his books, one of my all-time favorite books, Meg.  So while I used to think I just wanted to read all of his books, I think this one is again more of the spy and adventure type as opposed to what I loved in the Meg series, the giant shark.  Even with the computer becoming self-aware, I think I'd skip reading, but would love to see the movie made from it!

Verdict:  Toss


8.  Resurrection (The Domain Trilogy #2) by Steve Alten:

What happens to us when we die? 
Is there really an afterlife? 
Do we possess a soul? 
Does God exist? 
For Michael Gabriel, the answers to these questions lie in another dimension, a realm of eternity where there is no concept of time, only pure life force . . . pure existence. 
And pure evil. 
Five hundred years ago, the Mayan "Popul Vuh" prophesized the birth of powerful twins--the sons of Michael Gabriel. White-haired, azure-eyed Jacob, blessed with inhuman physical prowess, intelligence, and insight into the cosmos, knows from birth that he is meant for more. His dark-haired brother, Immanuel, refuses his genetic calling, desiring a normal life. But only the combined powers of the Gabriel twins can resurrect their savior father and save the human race from an eternity of repeating its own self-destruction. 
There is a third great power upon the earth, born the same day as the twins. Exposed to the uglier side of existence, empowered by her post-human genetics, the beautiful, schizophrenic Lilith will travel down a darker path that leads to Xibalba---the Mayan version of hell. An epic battle of good versus evil will begin . . . and the final fate of the human race will be revealed.  

My thoughts:
Okay, this is by the same author as above.  This is a sequel to a book by that author that I did give 5 stars.  However, I don't remember enough about it to make me for sure I need to read on. And since I read it before I was actually blogging and reviewing books, I don't have any record to help me decide.  So, since it is a favorite author, I'm sure if I ever do decide I might want to read it, I'll be reminded by the author himself as I read his newsletters and follow him on social media.

Verdict:  Toss


9.  Inappropriate Men by Stacey Ballis:

"Don’t get me wrong. There was - there is - much love between my husband and me. We aren’t miserable, we just aren’t happy. And we aren’t really together that much - it didn’t used to seem to matter. But it’s starting to matter. It’s starting to matter very much indeed."

With her marriage spiraling toward divorce, sexually confident and unapologetically sized-24 Sidney Stein finds herself drawn into an illicit affair with Geoffrey Fahl - not only married and twenty years her senior, but also her father’s business partner. Perilously close to falling in love with this man who is so very wrong for her and knowing there’s no future in the relationship, Sidney decides it’s time to turn her life around.

Newly separated from her husband, Sidney dives into the dating pool. And after more than a dozen dates, a disastrous transitional guy and reconnecting with a high school crush, she can’t help but wonder if it might not just be easier to let herself drown. But just as she stops looking for the ideal man, someone else arrives...and he might just be everything she never knew she always wanted.

Experience the love, joy and heartbreak of Sidney Stein in Stacey Ballis’s debut novel. Neither pat nor predictable, Inappropriate Men is laugh-out-loud funny without compromising intelligence.   

My thoughts:
As I've mentioned before, as a 46 year old woman who has never been married, this book sounds horrible to me.  First off, I want to find someone to marry and so for someone to be cheating on their significant other, well that doesn't work for me.  I can't find anything in common with a woman like this one as she is described, so, yeah, and then the divorce, etc.  This is an author I enjoyed her books about single women, but this one is just not going to do it for me.

Verdict: Toss 


10.  Eon (The Way #1) by Greg Bear:

The 21st century was on the brink of nuclear confrontation when the 300 kilometer-long stone flashed out of nothingness and into Earth's orbit. NASA, NATO, and the UN sent explorers to the asteroid's surface...and discovered marvels and mysteries to drive researchers mad.

For the Stone was from space--but perhaps not our space; it came from the future--but perhaps not our future; and within the hollowed asteroid was Thistledown. The remains of a vanished civilization. A human--English, Russian, and Chinese-speaking--civilization. Seven vast chambers containing forests, lakes, rivers, hanging cities...

And museums describing the Death; the catastrophic war that was about to occur; the horror and the long winter that would follow. But while scientists and politicians bickered about how to use the information to stop the Death, the Stone yielded a secret that made even Earth's survival pale into insignificance.  

My thoughts:
For some reason, I want to swear that I've already read this one.  But as of now, I have no record of that.  Maybe as I finish adding everything from the physical notebook I used to keep track of my reading in before I found Goodreads, maybe I'll come across that record in there.  But for now, as much as it sounds like the type of sci-fi I used to enjoy reading, these days, I mostly stick to YA sci-fi, just for the amount of time and attention it takes to read and enjoy.  

Verdict:  Toss


Oooh, getting rid of 7 books from my list this week, great!  Especially since I didn't do one of these last week and I know I've added more to my TBR.  So, have you read any of these?  Would you recommend I change my mind on any that you have read? 

Blog Tour with Author Interview: Along Came Jones by Victoria Bernadine

We are pleased to be shining the spotlight on the chick lit/contemporary fiction, Along Came Jones, by Victoria Bernadine.

___________________________________________________________________

About the Book

Title: ALONG CAME JONES
Author: Victoria Bernadine
Publisher: Love of Words Publishing
Pages: 324
Genre: Chick Lit/Contemporary Fiction

BOOK BLURB: 

Benjamin Ferrin Macon-Jones has it all: a luxurious lifestyle in Toronto and the love of an intelligent, ambitious woman…until that same woman refuses his marriage proposal, tells him he’s a detriment to her career, and leaves him. Unable to deal with his cantankerous family trying to be supportive, he quietly slips away into the Canadian countryside.

Lou Upjohn has problems of her own. She’s a recluse and agoraphobic, staying safely within the walls of her ancestral home in small town Saskatchewan and depending on Ike, her best and only friend, to deal with the outside world. Only Ike’s just married another woman and now he’s moving to Vancouver. Before he leaves, he hires the new guy in town, Ferrin Jones, to run her errands and do her yard work. Lou isn’t happy, but even she has to admit the stranger looks mildly interesting.

Both their lives could be changed forever if she only has the courage to open the door.

ORDER YOUR COPY:

Amazon

___________________________________________________________________

Book Excerpt:

“Marry me.”

Olivia laughs.

“What?” she teases with a fond, slightly mocking smile.  “Are you ‘proposing’ because you think it’s what people are supposed to do on New Year’s Eve?”

Ferrin smirks his lopsided, endearing smirk as he lowers himself to one knee and proffers the small, square velvet box he dug out of the pocket of his tuxedo.

The beautiful brunette laughs again.  “Oh, Ferrin, get up—you’re being ridiculous!  And the joke really isn’t all that funny.” 

Olivia glances at the crowd of beaming friends and family surrounding them and Ferrin watches as realization slowly dawns on her face.  Her gaze snaps back to his as realization morphs into horror, and Ferrin feels a corresponding sick, sinking feeling grow in his stomach as her expression changes.  His own smile slips away and his face freezes into an expressionless mask.  Their spectators’ hissed in-drawn breaths and sudden, uncomfortable silence barely register given his complete and utter focus on Olivia.

He knows what she’s going to say before she says it, but like any impending disaster, he can’t seem to look away.

“Oh, my God,” she whispers.  “Oh, shit!”  She bites her lip, then says in a rush, “I love you, Ferrin, I really, truly do...but I can’t marry you.”  Her voice breaks; her eyes fill with tears.

The silence that follows seems to grow and envelop them in a stifling cocoon built from his humiliation and suddenly terrified heart.  Ferrin hears, as if through cotton wool, subdued voices and the shuffling of feet as their family and friends gather their things and leave the apartment.  In some distant corner of his mind, he’s mildly surprised they're all leaving so quietly...or maybe he just can’t hear them across the yawning divide that’s opened between him and Olivia.

As the door closes, she whispers, “Get up.  Your knee must hurt.”

Does it?  He can’t tell over the crushing pressure in his chest, his stomach, his head, but he struggles to his feet anyway, like she asks, because she asks, aching and sore and suddenly ancient.  He straightens and becomes, as always, self-consciously aware of how big he is in comparison to her, and how his bulk looming over her always makes her edgy.  He automatically slouches his shoulders, trying to minimize his size, trying to make her comfortable.

“Say something,” she begs, and her voice breaks.

His voice is cracked, hollow, distant, as he says, “Is this it?”

‘It’, he thinks with despair.  Such a tiny word with such a huge meaning.

She hesitates, then nods, not quite looking at him.

“This can’t come as that much of a surprise.  Not if you’re honest with yourself.”

Ferrin can’t seem to make his brain work.  He shakes his head, trying to force something—anything—loose so his world—his life—will start to make sense again.

“I—I—no.  Yes.  Why?” he asks, and winces at just how lost he sounds.

Olivia sighs and says, very gently, “I want other things in life than you do, Ferrin.  My career means everything to me and I want to make it to the top of Macon-Jones Enterprises, or as high as I can get without being a blood relative.”

Finally, finally, anger flares inside him.

“And I’m holding you back?  In my own family’s company?”

Olivia hesitates.

Ferrin’s eyes widen.  “You really believe it,” he breathes.  “When have I ever stood in your way, Olivia?”

This time her sigh is long-suffering.  “You’ve never stood in my way, no, but you’ve never actively helped me, either.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to!  If I recall correctly, you told me so in no uncertain terms when we moved in together.  That’s only a couple of years ago!  What’s changed?”

“I didn’t want you using any undue influence with Abram to get me promotions I didn’t deserve,” Olivia snaps, her own anger flaring.  “That didn’t mean I didn’t want you to help me at all!”

Ferrin snorts.  “Nobody has undue influence with Abram.  You should know that by now!”

“Abram isn’t the point!  The point is that I could have used your support when some of my projects came up for a vote before the Board.  Instead, you, as always, stayed out of it and gave your vote to the first cousin who asked for it, without any regard to how the decision would impact my career or my projects!  Half the time, you didn’t even bother asking me how I wanted you to vote!”

“I never ask anyone about the projects or how they want to use my vote!  The cousins know how I play the game and it works well for all of us.  Why do you think I’m the only one any of them will talk to without a witness present?”

Olivia throws her hands up in the air as she whirls and paces away.  “There!  That’s exactly the problem!”

He takes a step back, blinking.  “What?  The fact that I’m friendly with all my cousins?  That’s a problem?”

“No!”  She brushes a hand over her face in exasperation.  She turns to him, and now he recognizes that look on her face.  It’s the one she has when she’s getting ready to lecture him on what, exactly, he’s done wrong, and what he needs to do to avoid making the same mistake again.

She says, “It’s not the fact the cousins all like you that’s the problem; it’s the reason they all like you!  You’re such a goddamn fixer, itching to solve everyone’s problems that you’ve become a complete pushover!  I don’t want to hurt you, Ferrin, but, let’s face it:  you’re a sucker.  You’re gullible.  And I hate to say this, but you’re also a bit of a wimp.  You’ll do whatever anybody tells you to do, and that’s proven in spades by your so-called ‘business investments’!  All anybody needs in order to get money out of you is a sob story and a half-assed idea!”

His mouth sags open as he rocks beneath her barrage, every word slamming into his heart and his gut and his mind.

“What the hell?” he chokes.

Olivia deflates, pity in her eyes.

“Look,” she says, and now her voice is calm and firmly matter-of-fact, the way Ferrin has so often heard her speak whenever he’s forced to attend a board meeting with her, “I’m going to be CEO someday of a multi-billion-dollar multinational company.  Your family’s multi-billion-dollar multinational company.  It’s ruthless and cutthroat, and a spouse’s strengths and talents are just as important to an executive’s rise as the executive’s own skills and talents, especially in Macon-Jones Enterprises.  You know how outright Machiavellian your family can be, and that’s when they’re arranging Christmas!  If you think they’re ruthless in their personal lives, they’re ten times worse in the boardroom, trust me!”

“Yes, I know,” Ferrin says drily, and is almost glad he’s starting to feel something—anything—now.  “I have met my cousins and I’ve even been to a board meeting a time or two.  Abram seems to have done all right without a spouse to support him.”

She snorts.  “He’s Chair and he was handed the job by your great-grandfather!  He’s never had to prove anything to anybody!”

His laugh is harsh and barking.  “Now you’re the one who’s forgotten what my cousins are like!” He waves his words away.  “Doesn’t matter.  You knew when we met that I do everything I can to avoid anything to do with the company.”

“You’re not supposed to avoid it by giving your vote to whichever cousin gets to you first!  Besides, you’re your father’s only surviving child, the last of your particular branch of the family!  You out of all your cousins shouldn’t avoid the company at all!”

Ferrin flinches.

She grimaces.  “I’m sorry; that was low...but you know I’m right.  You could wield enormous influence and power in the company, and not only with the family when they want something, if you’d just take an interest!  If you would listen to me, let me guide you, advise you so you don’t believe everything you’re told, and let me stop Carson, Dyson and Jack from constantly distracting you, you could be the next Chair of the Board instead of Jack!”

“So I’m not only gullible and a wimp, I’m also so stupid I can only trust you to advise me?” he says, incredulous.

“Of course not!  But you’re wasting your potential—and your birthright!  Your father was Abram’s second-in-command, for God’s sake!  All you have to do is step up and follow in his footsteps!”  She runs a hand through her hair and groans.  “Face it, Ferrin, I’m never going to be CEO if I remain allied with you, not unless you change your approach to the business.”

Ferrin rears back and stares.

“‘Allied’?” he says slowly.  “Is that what the last five years have been about, Olivia?  An alliance?”

“No!  Of course not!  I love you.  I do!  You’re a wonderful man, Ferrin.  But you’re...” She spreads her hands and shrugs helplessly.

“Weak,” he says flatly, “and obviously a little stupid.  Have I got it right?”

“Ferrin…”  She takes a step towards him, but he quickly retreats.  She stops and stares at him, her large, brown eyes brimming with tears.  For once, he’s unmoved.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a disappointment to your professional ambitions,” he grates out, a bitter twist to his lips.  He turns and heads for the exit.

“Where are you going?”

“I have no idea,” he says, and slams the door behind him.

♠♥♣♦

Lou signs the last of the papers and sits back with a rueful scowl.

“Considering I never leave the house,” she grumbles to Ike, “you’d think there’d be less paperwork.”

Ike chuckles as he straightens the papers and tucks them into his briefcase.

“You have a lot of investments, Lou.  You need to keep track of them all.”

She shrugs.  “I suppose, although I thought that’s what I was paying you to do.”

“Lou,” Ike says, and leans back in Ike's Chair with an annoyed sigh.

She grimaces and waves a hand.  “Whatever.  You know I don’t read the things when you put them in front of me, and I tune out as soon as you start talking finances and investments and whatever the hell else you’re saying when your lips are moving.”

“Yes, I do know.  Why do you think I gave up a long time ago on trying to convince you to pay more attention?”

She shrugs, then tugs her over-sized, dirt-brown sweater more closely around herself.  Her stomach churns and tightens as she buries her suddenly shaking hands in the knitted wool.  She staunchly reminds herself of her New Year’s Resolution to make changes in her life, beginning with her relationship with Ike and ending with her finally figuring out a way to leave the house.

“Would you like something to drink?” she asks, carefully casual, but she can’t quite keep the hopeful lilt from her voice. 

It’s been a long time since Ike stayed past the time it takes to get her signature on a stack of papers, or to confirm she’s still breathing.  She misses the days when he’d linger and talk with her, giving her news of the world outside the walls of her house.  Even more, she misses those all-too-few nights, when he’d whisper against her heated skin, and leave her weak with need.  But those nights, like everything else, faded away and now he barely spends any time with her at all.

She doesn’t really miss people, but she misses Ike, and he’s the only one right in front of her.

Now he hesitates, and the thoughtful look on his face makes her stomach drop.

This won’t be good, she thinks.

“I don’t want anything to drink,” he says slowly, “but I do want to talk to you.”

Her stomach drops even further as she shifts her weight in her seat, her fingers clutching at the strands of her sweater.

“All right,” she says, feeling as wary as a rabbit sensing danger.

Ike leans forward, his gorgeous golden-brown eyes never wavering from hers.  He says, very carefully and precisely, “On New Year’s Eve, I asked Irish to marry me, and she said yes.”

The ensuing silence lengthens, deepens, as the words drift around her like leaves, like dust.

She loves Ike, has always loved him.  Even while they played cops and robbers through the dusty streets of Ledoux, or hunted for ghosts in and around the abandoned hospital on the outskirts of town, or searched for buried treasure in the rare copses of trees that dot the prairie landscape, she also secretly dreamed of playing house.  He’s her white knight, riding to her rescue whenever he noticed her schoolmates teasing her or when her mother got sick or when she realized she could no longer bring herself to face the world lurking outside her windows.  He starred in more dreams than she can count when she was a teenager, and he’s in more fantasies than she cares to admit as an adult.

Ten years ago, he helped her cope with her mother’s illness as he gradually took over all the mundane tasks she had no time or energy to do:  paying bills, buying groceries, talking to the neighbours.  Five years later, he stood by her side, strong and tall and comforting, when she finally laid her mother—that poor, long-suffering woman—to rest. Lou had been twenty-five then, grief-stricken and suddenly unable to cope with the world outside, but Ike remained her friend even after she crept into her house and allowed the doors to seal shut behind her.

She stayed inside, and there were those few brief months when he joined her in her bed, but then his desire faded away, and when she wasn’t looking, he fell in love with Irish.

She shivers.

The cold of a Saskatchewan winter doesn’t even come close to the ice growing inside her.

“Lou?”

She blinks and shifts, her fingers flexing nervously against the knitted fabric of her sweater.

“Congratulations,” she croaks.  Her heart clenches at the genuine happiness on his face, in his eyes.  She clears her throat, then asks, her voice husky, “When’s the big day?”

“The beginning of March.”

“That’s only six weeks away!”

He laughs.  “Well, there’s no reason to wait, is there? Don’t worry, Lou, I’m still going to manage your finances and take care of you.”

“Oh.  Well.  That’s...good.”  What did it matter, she wants to scream, if there’s no longer any hope you’ll come back to me?

Ike nods as he smacks his hands against his knees and surges to his feet.

“Maybe someday you’ll meet her,” he says, grinning as he picks up his briefcase.

She forces a smile, and hopes he doesn’t notice her trembling lips.  “Maybe.  You’ve told me so much about her, I feel like I know her already.”  She winces inside at her dry tone.

Ike either doesn’t notice or decides to ignore the sarcasm. 

“You’d like her, you know,” he says as he walks to the door.  She drifts after him and watches, helpless, as he pulls on his boots and parka.  “She reminds me a lot of how you used to be.”

Lou opens her mouth to say she could be the way she used to be; she just needs to figure out how to get there, that’s all.  But he’s already opening the door, and she closes her mouth, the words unsaid.

He pauses on the threshold, the icy air swirling round his feet and into the large, cluttered foyer. He half-turns towards her, standing in both shadow and light.  Lou swallows, once again struck by how perfect he is, from the compelling beauty of his amber eyes, high cheekbones and perfectly symmetrical features, to his crown of carefully groomed dark brown hair, now ruffled by the cold winter wind.  She sometimes finds it hard to believe he’s ever run barefoot through mud, or hovered over her as he patiently coaxed her to orgasm.  Maybe if she had been able to enjoy the sex more—

“I’ll be back before the wedding,” he says now, startling her from her thoughts.  “See you later, Lou.”

He flashes his charming smile, and is gone before she even finishes nodding.

She stares at the door without seeing it before she carefully straightens her sweater, vaguely aware her feet are numb even in their wool socks, thanks to the cold prairie wind that had blown inside the house.  She turns and walks just as carefully back to the living room.  She eases down onto the couch, feeling as if even the air touching her skin is enough to break her.

She stares at nothing, and allows the comforting silence to gently settle over her.

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Author Interview

1.  What does your writing process look like? Do you know the whole story when you start?  Or do you just start writing and go with it (seat of the pants writing)?  If you plan it out, how do you do that?  Outline, notecards, post-it-notes, etc.?

I’m a pantser although I become a planner as the story progresses.  I start with an idea:  a snippet of dialogue, a scene, a character, a situation—and then I write that idea/moment and see where it takes me.  If it leads me to a longer story, I will eventually end up ‘planning’ the story because I will sit down and work out why something is happening or character motivation, etc.—but that happens after the story is already being told.

2.  How do you come up with your ideas for your stories?

My ideas are inspired by, well, everything and anything, really.  A song, a person I pass on the street, a TV show that makes me say ‘what if…’, a dream.  Name it, and I’ve probably been inspired by it at some point.  Whether those ideas grow into something more than a moment is anybody’s guess until I start writing and see where it takes me.

3.  How long have you been writing?

I wrote all the time as a kid but never finished anything.  I started writing again in 2008 and I haven’t looked back since!

4.  What tips do you have for aspiring writers?

Read a lot and write a lot.  Read so you know what you like in a story and you can learn from incredibly skilled writers what it means to structure a story, pacing, character development, the turn of phrase.  Write a lot because the only way to find your own voice is to practice and experiment and learn what works for you and the stories you want to tell.

5.   What are your favorite:

Books/authors/genres:  Can I just say all of them?  Seriously, I read everything and I have favourites in every genre.  For example:  Sci fi – Isaac Asimov – the Foundation series; Fantasy – Lloyd Alexander – the Chronicles of Prydain; Mystery – Agatha Christie – every novel she ever wrote; Western – Louis L’Amour – the Sackett novels; etc., etc., etc.

Movies/TV Shows – The Star Wars and Star Trek franchises, of course.  The Iron Man movies (I adore Robert Downey Jr.!!).  As for TV, Broadchurch is probably the best TV show I’ve watched in the last five years.

Music – I listen to everything except jazz and rap (although I will listen to those, too; I just don’t like them that much), however, my favourite genre is country and my favourite singer is Johnny Cash (with Jimmy Buffett in a neck-to-neck race with him).

Food/Writing snack – Potato chips.  I can resist sugar but I can never resist salt.

About the Author

Victoria Bernadine (a pseudonym) is, as the saying goes, a "woman of a certain age". After twenty-something years of writer's block, she began writing again in 2008. 

Victoria enjoys reading all genres and particularly loves writing romantic comedy and post-apocalyptic science fiction. What those two have in common is anybody's guess.

She lives in Edmonton with her two cats (The Grunt and The Runt).  Along Came Jones is the second novel she felt was good enough to be released into the wild.

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